omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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