it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
