Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
