What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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