I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
