Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
