NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
