U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
