You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
