Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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