No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
