covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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