Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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