she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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