need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
