My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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