I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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