So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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