problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
