the day after is always just damage control
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
