I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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