I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
