Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
