Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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