dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
