More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I skipped work to stalk him.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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