I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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