PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize