So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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