Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize