You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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