After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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