You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
