SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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