I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
