So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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