ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.