Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator