Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh