i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw