I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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