dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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