OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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