You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
