We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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