Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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