she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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