I got chris browned last night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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