Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
