Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
