it was like eating out sand paper
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am mentally ready for anal.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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