Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
