and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize