he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's Friday. Sex?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize