he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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