but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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