it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
