he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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