Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
