No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
