Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
